The Morning Briefing: Annoy a Commie–Enjoy Everything About Thanksgiving Day

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Thursday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. The family has acknowledged for years that Uncle Selwyn’s references to “making giblet gravy” have nothing to do with Thanksgiving dinner.

We all know that the Briefing doesn’t get holidays off unless they fall on a Saturday or Sunday. That doesn’t mean I’m going to blather on today and distract you from a third helping of stuffing before you begin demolishing the desserts. What am I, a monster?

Many thanks to my friend Megan Fox for taking over for me yesterday. As always, she was brilliant and a fan favorite, even if she wasn’t at CPAC last February. You’ll be getting another Fox Fix next week, as Megan will be pinch-hitting while I’m flying home to get three days of grief from my cat.

THE SECOND WAVE

I would also like to remind everyone that you can still slip me an email for tomorrow’s Mailbag of Magnificence.

In a video that I recorded for our VIP subscribers last month, I went off on the people who are obsessed with getting to Halloween and Christmas early because I think that they’ve pushed Thanksgiving Day to the side. Before we know it, Black Friday Christmas sales will be starting before Independence Day and then America will truly be lost.

There is so much to love about Thanksgiving Day that I have to question the sanity of anyone who is more focused on saving a couple of hundred bucks on a television than hitting that sweet spot after Thanksgiving dinner where you barely have the energy to unbutton your pants before slipping off into food coma nap.

Our own VodkaPundit shared some moving thoughts about being thankful even when we go through difficult times. It’s an important reminder to seek things to be grateful for even when we think we might not find any.

Before you panic and think that I’m going to get too deep, allow me to pivot to a post Kevin wrote that’s titled “5 Patriotic Holiday Cocktails to Serve Your Commie-in-Laws if You Are Forced to See Them.” Here’s a bit of his intro:

The worst part about the holiday season is dealing with relatives you’d rather not see. I’m Irish, and there are family members I only see at weddings and funerals. Otherwise, we neglect each other the way a liberal cuckboy ignores a check engine light.

Sometimes we have no choice but to endure and entertain a bolshie cousin or in-law. That doesn’t mean the evening is lost.

What if you could serve up some patriotic cocktails and not let the apparatchik know what she/he/it is drinking until they have pounded a few?

That’s the spirit, or “spirits,” in this case.

The lefties don’t want us to be thankful on Thanksgiving Day because they hate America and anyone who loves it. Our sister site Twitchy covered the formal attempt by White House Spokesditz Karine Jean-Pierre to pass along a cheat sheet for ruining Thanksgiving dinner.

Just to prove that they despise the United States and people who are thankful for being American, President LOLEightyonemillion and the drunk commie puppet masters who run his empty brain have made this year’s meal a lot more expensive.

Sorry kids, no drumsticks this year, just a hammer and sickle.

The best way to counter this nefarious leftist attempt to ruin all that is tasty and beautiful is to simply have a great day today. Heck, I may even revel in whatever family drama presents itself, although I don’t really expect any.

I would like to eat so much today that I’ll wish I’d worn sweatpants. There’s no way I’m missing out on The Great Unbuttoning, however.

Please know that I am most thankful for all of you who read the Morning Briefing. I love this gig and you keep me going. Happy, Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.

I’m off to build a mashed potato Matterhorn.

Please consider subscribing to the Morning Briefing here. It’s free and it helps keep me off the streets.

The Mailbag of Magnificence contributions can be sent to [email protected].

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#YOLO

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Happy Turkey Day.